The Star Wars franchise is infamous for its licensed merchandising. With the release of the latest film, it's nearly impossible to go to a store and not see at least one product emblazoned with the Star Wars logo. The way I understand it, the market was similarly saturated when the original movies came out.
Discussions on rampant capitalism aside, sometimes the charm is simply irresistible. Take for example another one of my great yard sale finds from years and years ago: a Star Wars themed alphabet book!
How this book survived my childhood intact is beyond me, but it remains a prized piece of my collection to this day in spite of its poor condition. The book is a part of the old "Read-Along" series published by Buena Vista back in 1984. Accompanying the release of Return of the Jedi, the book originally came with a 33 1/3 RPM vinyl record featuring word-for-word narration. It even featured character voices and sound effects from the films! Sadly, I was only able to find the book as the record was apparently long since lost. However, if you're interested you can listen to the audio here.
I read this book many times growing up. I mostly remember being fascinated with the drawings and how detailed they were, being almost perfect likenesses of the characters and creatures from the films.
Apologies to alphabet book authors - as I'm sure it's more difficult than it looks - but even as a kid I thought it was fairly obvious that the uncredited author of this book probably struggled coming up with characters to accompany each letter. There are definitely some unusual choices at various points, with obscure characters (see letters U and Z) and sort-of Star Wars related subject matter (see letter Q) being utilized to complete the alphabet.
Then there are the rhymes... Oh, the rhymes. These range from the hilarious - the Bantha named Samantha and stormtroopers as party poopers - to the groan-inducing - the entirety of page 22 featuring X-Wing Fighters. It's so bad at times that the author actually breaks the fourth wall on a few occasions to openly lament the decision to make this a rhyming book!
What a treat this must have been for the monster kids!!!
"Famous Monster Speak" was an album released in 1963. Advertised, appropriately enough, in the back of Famous Monsters magazine and other Warren publications this record delivered on its promise: Allowing the listener to hear Frankenstein's Monster and Dracula talk!
The album consisted of two stories - one on each side of the record - featuring each monster as the narrator. Both stories are creatively framed by their own establishing plots. For Frankenstein's Monster, a summit of scientists has gathered to listen to a "primitive recording device" which features the creature recounting his creation from his own perspective and his struggles against creator. Meanwhile, Dracula's story is told when he summons a reporter to his lair to type up an expose' on his life as an immortal vampire.
I particularly enjoy the artwork for the album with iconic images of both the Monster and Dracula. Inexplicably, the Wolf Man, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Mummy also share the spotlight despite not actually appearing on the record itself at all.
Overall, this is good listen if you enjoy the old radio dramas. The voice acting is spot-on. Gabriel Dell supplied the voices of both the Monster and Dracula. His portrayal of the Monster appropriately alternates between menacing and tragic, while his Dracula maintains a consistently sinister tone (and without imitating Lugosi!). The sound effects also help to set a great atmosphere for both the framing narratives and the monsters telling their stories.
Side 1 - Frankenstein
Side 2 - Dracula
I'm always on the look out for a copy of this record as I scour the shelves and racks of flea markets flipping through vinyls. Maybe one day I'll luck out and actually track one down.
My sister and I used to beg our mother to let us listen to her record player. She has a great collection of classic rock albums... My parents have great taste in music!
However, inevitably, the record we always ended up giving a spin was Disney's Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House. Of course we had to turn out the lights to set the proper mood. Then we would sit there in the dark listening to the spooky noises until the record stopped (which, to me, was always the most terrifying sound!).
Released in 1963, this album consists primarily of sound effects apparently drawn from Disney's archives. Many of the ghostly groans and screams are recognizable from their library of classic movies and cartoons such as 1937's Mickey Mouse cartoon The Lonesome Ghosts. As far as I can tell, this record is in no way associated with Disney Land's Haunted Mansion ride, aside from the fact the album artwork was created by that attraction's concept designer, Paul Wenzel.
Side A of the record is broken into narrated segments that incorporate the various sound effects. Oddly enough, these have very little to do with the "haunted house" theme, aside from the opening track. For example, the remainder of the album includes sounds of a lumberjack chopping down a tree and subsequently being crushed, an explosive fuse being lit, someone crossing a rickety bridge, Chinese water torture, and a UFO landing. The creepiest tracks are probably the sounds of a pack of wild dogs and a Hitchcokian flock of killer birds. Side B consists of many of the same sound effects without the narration.
Alfred Hitchcock... The "Master of Suspense". As film director and producer he pioneered many film-making techniques that are still being emulated to this day, including shots that appear to be filmed from a first-person perspective, giving the audience an uncomfortable voyeuristic feeling. Primarily working in the suspense, mystery, and thriller genre, Hitchcock developed a huge body of work through the course of his six decade career. Many of his are still considered masterpieces by film critics and fans alike. Just a few of his most famous films include: The Lady Vanishes, Rope, Strangers on a Train, Dial M for Murder, Rear Window, The Trouble with Harry, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Vertigo, North by Northwest, Psycho, and The Birds.
Despite the majority of his work being in the movie-making business, Hitchcock also recognized the gaining popularity of television and embraced the medium. He produced and hosted a series called Alfred Hitchcock Presents which made him even more of a recognizable cultural figure.
Apparently, at some point in the midst of all this, Hitchcock also found time to produce this record entitled Music To be Murdered By in 1958. If you are expecting the harsh strings found in the Pscyho shower scene, this record is not for you, but you're missing out on some good stuff. The music is wonderfully conducted by movie and television composer Jeff Alexander. Most of the album might be considered easy listening lounge music, but there is an undertone of suspense and mystery that one would expect. Hitchcock's trademark "gallows humor" is on full display as he introduces each piece of music.
From the liner notes:
Gentle Listener:
The record in this envelope is called "Music To Be Murdered By" and is part of a campaign of mine to return to murder the dignity and charm it once had. Today there are few good, honest murderers left. Most of them are hoodlums or neurotic wrecks with no sense of style or form and certainly no interest in good music. I realize there may be a few who whistle as they work but that is hardly the same thing. This modern notion that all murders should be performed a capella simply has no historical basis. You don't think Nero was fiddling for his own amusement, do you? Certainly not.
These days a murder is amusing for the onlookers and the murderer but no one thinks of making things pleasant for the victim. He may be a tiresome bore but he is still rather essential and is entitled to some consideration. Music, I feel, will heighten his appreciation and make his own murder the truly ennobling experience it should be.
One warning: My disembodied voice will be heard occasionally, but I promise not to sing. After all, this record was designed to accompany murder, not to commit it.
I sincerely hope you enjoy "Music To Be Murdered By" and I trust that before your demise you have time to stagger out and busy some more albums for a few of your close enemies.
Boris Karloff is best remembered for his silver screen portrayals of monsters and madmen. For crying out loud, the guy will forever be remembered in cinematic history for having not one but two of the iconic Universal Monsters roles under his belt in Frankenstein's Monster and the Mummy!
But Karloff was also recognized for lending his vocal talents to spoken word work. He was a regular performer on radio dramas. If you've ever enjoyed the How the Grinch stole Christmas cartoon around the holidays, it's Karloff's vocalization that serves as voice of the Narrator and the Grinch.
From what I can gather, at some point in his career, Karloff did syndicated radio work for Reader's Digest Magazine sometime in the late 50's, producing brief segments that eventually became Tales of the Frightened. "These radio spots were not necessarily horror stories, but with Karloff you could never be sure..." according to Old Time Radio Catalog.
In 1957, a collection of these segments were compiled to create an album that was released by Mercury Records. Michael Avallone, an author famous for writing thrillers, mysteries, and secret agent stories authored the stories Karloff read in his signature tones. Sound effects and experimental electronic music (a genre still very much in its infancy at the time) was provided by the group the Electrosoniks. The combination of all this talent results in an album of thrilling, chilling tales of terror that are as genuinely creepy as they are fun (Well... in the morbid, macabre sense... What else would you expect?).
The liner notes from the album:
"Are you one of the frightened...?"
These six simple words, innocuous at first glance, serve as a mocking prelude to one of the most gripping narrative performances in the history of spoken word recording. For it is none other than Boris Karloff posing the simple question in all of his spine-tingling, low-voiced perfection. Acknowledged for thirty years as the undisputed master of the mysterious, the sinister-sounding Mr. Karloff is at the peak of his storytelling powers as he guides you through a world's library of terror. The haunting teals rendered here for chilling enjoyment were personally selected by Mr. Karloff, who is a connoisseur in the field of the bizarre and terrifying.
Which was your favorite Karloff performance? The Frankenstein Monster? The Mummy? The Body Snatcher? Fu Manchu? The mad butler in The Old Dark House? Perhaps the very sight of this stooped, superbly gifted performer of the grotesque has been sufficient in the past to ensure your rapt attention. Then a surprise is in store for you. This remarkable actor (who is easily one of the world's most identifiable faces) will amaze and astound you with the sheer evocative power of his speaking voice. Although it has been thirty years since the Frankenstein Monster electrified the world of entertainment from New York to Siam, it is not too late to underscore the simple truth that the Karloff voice is as much a part of his magical presence as his photogenic make-up.
The ominous voice, the rising suggestion of imminent doom, the haunting caress of terror, the suggestive hush of horror unfolding are all here in a veritable garden of evil. Mr. Karloff rakes up the dead leaves of fear's history with the zest and zeal of a true believer. Whatever a frightened human being has conjured up in his mind to combat the darkness of the unknown is here at hand. Werewolves, vampires, haunted houses, superstition, psychic residue, the undead, the unspeakable, the manifest destiny of death - these the Elder Statesmen of the Eerie brings you with unforgettable relish.
All of these uniquely Karloffian tales were authored by Michael Avallone, long a Karloff fan himself and equally devoted to the terror tale. Mr. Avallone, one of the nation's finest mystery writers, has surpassed anything he has ever done before. "Tales of the Frightened" will long be remembered as a highlight in the career of Michael Avallone. The feeling persists, as you listen to the tales, that he must have been born to write them for the great performer who speaks the words. Mr. Karloff has rewarded him with his finest vocal effort.
"Are you one of the frightened...?"
Then pull up a chair and prepare yourself. Make sure the doors are bolted, the windows locked and the fireplace roaring with blazing logs. There must be no dark corners, no murky shadows, no questionable areas where no light falls. You are about to go on a thrilling journey into the undiscovered country of the outre'. A land where a man cannot escape his fate, where a cat can terrify a human being, where a woman is capable of lifting her head off her shoulders to re-do her hair, where a curious man with a strange umbrella follows you down the street... and the great unknown of uncertainty is poised at every turn of the road.
Years ago, at another yard sale of course, I found a paperback book called Boris Karloff Present Tales of the Frightened also written by Michael Avallone. Apparently this was a tie-in book that contained the same stories from the album. There was also a second volume of Tales of the Frightened in the vinyl format as well at some point with more stories.
Just today I received my vinyl copy of Tales of the Frightened that I recently won on an online auction. I can't wait for the sun to set here at the Cryptic Corridor so I can fire up the turntable and listen to Boris Karloff read these classic stories of terror!
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